They Call Me a SAHM

My adopted motto : "We know a thing or two, because we've seen a thing or two." - StateFarm commercial

    I have held 10+ paying jobs in my lifetime.  All of them in a span of 6 years between the ages of 15 and 22.  I was not a good hire.  My passions were always somewhere else.  Most that knew me, knew I wanted to be a wife and mommy, if I couldn't fulfill my secret dream of singing in a band and traveling the world.  I filled my parents' and societies' expectations with my small interest in biology and helping others, by going to school to be a nurse.  I held a job in a hospital for 6 months as a CNA and quickly realized I didn't want to wipe up and feed people I didn't know. Enter MOMMYHOOD! God knew I would need all that experience for the perfect job he had planned for me.  I have held the title of Stay-at-home-mom for 15+ years now.  In other cash paying careers I would be considered a professional or executive in my field.  I agree.  I totally agree.  My job, however, does not pay cash.  It pays in love and that is priceless to me.

    If you are considering this line of work (and it is WORK), you need to know it is a full time position.  All day, all hours, working vacations, pulling all "nighters", and pushing yourself to your emotional and physical limits (but that's just the job description for MOM in general right?) Here is my Pros and Cons list for being a SAHM.  It's not complete because the list could go on for miles arguing both sides.  These are the most note-worthy to me.

PROS

*   Obviously, like the name suggests, I get to stay at home.  All day, everyday....well, somedays.  To others that could be seen as an item that should be listed on the con list.  To me, this is a delightful pro.

*   I'm my own boss.  I've never been able to hold a job for very long.  My longest job was 2 years.  I just had issues as a young person with someone telling me to be somewhere at a certain time and constantly doing tasks I cared nothing about. Then suffering the consequences for not doing them!  Turns out, this is exactly what happens when you have kids.  You just like them more than you do your boss.

*   I got to watch my babies do all the baby firsts!  I saw it all.  I can honestly say I taught all four of my kids to eat with a spoon, poop in the potty, color, get dressed, and learn shapes, numbers and letters (ok PBS helped with that one too).  Some people can't train a dog. I see this as a huge accomplishment.  I haven't missed a single milestone, special event, sickness, or boo boo.

*   I don't have to get dressed everyday!  We see many women out and about in their trendy "Athleisure" wear, shopping, working...what have you.  I and the other mommies I knew in the early 2000's absolutely started this trend.  True, the only choices we had for style were black or neon yoga pants that typically came all the way to the floor like bootcut jeans or capri length culottes. However, we knew there was NO WAY we were putting those jeans and skinny t- shirt back on just to go to the store and still be able to spend most of the day bent over covered in spit up.  Now we have many options of leisure wear and it's perfectly acceptable to run out of the house in these clothes with a messy bun, no make-up, and a t-shirt that reads, "Mommin' ain't easy." or my new fave, "Losing my mind one kid at a time."  You're welcome new mommies.  We understand,  You are so welcome.

*   A recent pro I have discovered is me time!  Now that all of my kids are in school I have time for myself!  I can work on projects, volunteer, take the coveted "private" shower or potty break, or just be lazy!  Whatever little ole' me wants to do.  It's magical.  I'll admit there is a tad bit of guilt that follows the me time, but it doesn't last long... Till the bus arrives actually.

CONS

*   NO ME TIME!  The SAHM with kids at home is a creature with no personal boundaries.  There is constantly another human being touching her, calling her name, wanting food, or making messes.  Don't you dare sit down or take out a snack without sharing,  Just go ahead and reheat that coffee in the microwave for the 5th time. From sun up to sun down and in between they are there....always there.  Then your husband comes home and is touching you and calling your name, wanting food, and making messes.(A future blog can be dedicated to that issue)

*   Limited adult interaction.  A great quote by Barbara Kingsolver : " Being a stay-at-home-mom was the loneliest kind of lonely, in which she was always and never by herself."  Some days all you want is to have a normal conversation that doesn't include baby talk or arguments about the importance of wearing underwear.  I found myself jealous of my husbands' lunch break at work.  I longed for just that hour of getting to eat whatever I wanted with a friend without cutting up someone else's grapes or picking the noodles up off the floor afterward.  I should add, as a result of this "con" you tend to lose many social skills, which leads me to the next item on the list.

* Forgetting appropriate behavior for the outside world.  By my second child, I had completely lost all apprehension of being embarrassed in public.  Rule of thumb new moms... that beautiful baby will grow up to be a tyrant dictator by the age of 2.  Be prepared to get stared at!  They WILL throw a fit in the store, you WILL end up yelling out their name in a busy place to get their attention, and they absolutely WILL say something out loud to you, a friend, or worse, a stranger that will make you want to move away and change your name.  One of my kids could be heard many times in public asking if I had wiped after going to the restroom.  You learn to deal.  This isn't even the worst part.  By the third child, you will have gotten so used to being only with them you forget NOT to do all those common natural reactions to discomfort or bodily functions on front of others!  Such as: picking a wedgie, picking your nose, burping, chewing with your mouth closed, scratching, and farting.  Honestly, (true transparency here) the hardest one for me has been remembering not to break wind in public because I'm so used to just letting it rip whenever I want. (red-faced now)

Like everything else in my life, I have scripture to fall back on and share with you!

Philippians 2:14-15 Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. In other words, changing diapers, cleaning up toys and messes, and carpooling those kiddos all over the county are your chances to shine a light! Right there. Your tiny light is a big one to those little eyes always watching you.  It's hard.  I've failed many times.

Galatians 6:9  And let us not grow weary of  doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.  Self-explanatory and highly verifiable. I've experienced this over and over again.

Finally, Ecclesiastes 2:24 There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil.  This also, I saw, is from the hand of God.  Whatever craziness you have to endure as a SAHM, be it a pro or a con, do it with JOY!  Don't take yourself so seriously.  Celebrate the little things in life.  If I could give only one piece of advice to a SAHM it would be to find the joy.  In that I mean....  Pick your battles, don't compare yourself to other moms, leave the mess sometimes, remember no one is perfect, and laugh at your mistakes. Like the sign I saw online to hang in your home that read: (BTW, I need this one!)  "Please excuse the mess, my kids are making memories."  These memories will sustain you for many years so make them joyful ones.

    Mommy-hood is my career and I'm satisfied with that! After extreme exhaustion and chanting to myself through the tears, "I did my best, I did my best.." , I can relate completely with this quote, "My hope is that they will remember mommy tried.  Even when she was tired, even when she was stressed.  I hope they will know that I did it all for them.  That I had every intention of being great, good, and grand, but that some days all I could be was ok." - unknown.  Then remembering to reply to complaints from my family with, "but did you DIE?"

    Stay-At-Home-Moms UNITE!!