A Giant Leap

Have you ever gone out on a hypothetical limb before?  For some of us it’s a daily occurrence (Bless).   For others like me, it’s just a bit too risky for my liking.  I’ve never enjoyed climbing trees to begin with so going out in a limb just didn’t happen! (See what I did there?)  I’m a planner, organizer, juggle all the balls, schedule the day down to the toilet break (exaggeration), stick to the plan, color inside the lines, wash, dry, and fold all in one day kind of gal. (I hear you Judgy McJudgerson) Needless to say, there is little room for limb crawling.  However, there are a handful of times I have “nosed” my way out to the edge.  The feeling is unnatural and frightening to me.  Our moves across the country for one, was always considered (in my opinion) a leap of faith.  Hoping we were making the right decision to uproot everyone again.  The choices to leap are occasionally an all or nothing verdict.  These are far scarier.

I was 25 with a 2 and 1 year old.  We lived in a cute second story apartment with 2 bedrooms, an alley kitchen, and a teeny-tiny screened in porch in Central Florida.  My husband had been working his way up the corporate ladder for a few years and I had been staying home with the babies (a decision we made before the first was born. Likely all my pay would have gone to childcare anyway.)!  He was still only an assistant manager and every time it seemed like it was his turn for advancement or bonus something got in the way.  We barely had money to buy the obscene amount of diapers we needed. (Much respect to the cloth diaper generation) Even then I was an organizer.  I rationed out the milk and apple juice to each child every day to make sure it lasted two weeks.  I made meals every night with very basic ingredients.  The kids and I rarely left the apartment just because I couldn’t use the gas since I had an appointment later that week.  It was stressful to say the least. 

Earlier during this time I had decided to go back to the church I had gone to as a teen.  My dad had been the Associate Pastor there and it was also the place of our wedding!  I hadn’t been to church in a long while.  I never lost faith, just lost the desire.  I believe I went simply to feel a part of the world again.  I knew people there and felt safe.  Plus it was free!!   I went to Sunday school, I joined the choir, and they even threw me a baby shower for my second born. 

Then of course it happened..... God started working on me.  I started praying regularly and reading the free devotional I could pick up at church.  My prayers eventually turned more and more from thanks you’s and requests into pleas to God for help from our financial struggle.  I wanted freedom.  God showed up.  Looking back it seems like a miraculous intervention of knowledge.  He started opening my eyes to parts of His word that focused on giving.  Here I was, pleading to “get” something and God was gently showing me that I had to “give” first. 

Being raised in church I was well aware of tithing and gave my share of change in the offering plate as a kid, but never thought much about it as an adult with a paycheck that I needed every penny of to survive.  I learned, in the Old Testament God established a tithe on His people.  Through it He took care of them.  It was an intentional practice to give the first fruits or a tenth of what they had produced, Through which God intended to teach Israel about His sovereign ownership of everything! Instead of being consumers of their blessings, they had to stop and think through just how much blessing they had.  Later in the New Testament, Jesus gives a different view- more of a gift from the heart than a requirement of the law.  In Mark 12 Jesus sat and watched as people put money into the offering box (how anxious did that make everyone I wonder?) “Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins.  And He called His disciples to him and said to them, “ Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box.  For they all contribute out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”  I went on to learn verses like Luke 6:38 “Give and it will be given to you.” And Proverbs 3:9 that says to give and your barns will be filled and He will reward generosity with plenty! 

I reluctantly knew what I was being asked to do. The challenge was that I had to have the faith to give sacrificially to see if the Lord would keep His word!  I doubted my own actions for days.  Was I asking God to show himself or was I trying to put Him to the test? Either way, I was nervous.  Making the decision to be obedient, I wrote a check to my church for $.52. That’s 52 cents! That was all we had in our account till next payday.  Sure it sounds silly but it was a fantastic leap of faith for me.  I had declared to myself that I would obey God and give to Him all I had with the hopes He would deliver on His promise.

Remember the quote by Mark Twain at the beginning?  “Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.”  Well, Mark had no idea the true point he was actually making.  When we display trust in God and live in faithful obedience to His Word (walk out on the limb) we find an endless supply of fruit (Gods blessings).  Only a few days after I wrote that check I received another check in the mail from my doctor for $160 as a result of overpayment. WHAT?!?!  I was collecting couch change to pay for little things. I would NEVER over pay the doctor!  I called to check it out and it was legit.  I remember crying and laughing at the same time. (I’ve done this many times, it’s like my go-to emotion, but this one was a happy cry.)

Not many months later, my husband received the promotion we had been waiting for. That experience changed my life forever.  We have continued to give with a grateful heart and have never been without.  Sure we have seen some more times that the funds were low.  My giving didn’t mean I would never have hard times again.  It has shown me I don’t have to battle with it.  I know who my ultimate provider is and I know He keeps His word. 

This seems like a story about the importance of giving doesn’t it?  You’re wrong! Well, maybe a little bit. It’s actually a story of faith.  I don’t know what you’re going through. I’m not telling you to go out and give all you have away.  God could work in your life in a completely and utterly different way than He did in mine.  What I am saying is trusting God can feel like going out on a limb or taking a giant leap, but take it from me, don’t you wanna see what happens when you do?