Bible Vs. Nervous Nelly

 

 

          Picture with me if you will, a gorgeous sunny day in Northern California, under a Toy Story wallpaper sky with the refreshing occasional breeze through the trees.   A precious 6 year-old girl is on a walk to the park with her pregnant mother and little brother.  They take their time with the stroll while chit-chatting about the things little people chat about… animals, how far they can jump, and a way too long study of the gross trash left under a bush or the dog poop in the grass.  They are having a lovely afternoon anticipating the park and the fun that will be had upon arrival. Suddenly, the little girl stops dead in her tracks. The mother, while trying to keep the younger brother from running ahead, tries to coerce her daughter to come along.  She realizes the once elated girl was crying and appeared frightened to take another step.  Under further review, the mom comes to the conclusion that her bright little one is terrified to cross over a line of carpenter ants that were marching across the sidewalk in front of her. Jumping into action she whisks the little lady up in her arms and flys her to the other side of the ant brigade. All is well, and the journey continues but not without the curious mother running the mysterious event through her mind over and over again (as moms tend to do).  Why would her smart, outgoing, seemingly fearless 6 year-old be frozen with fear from something so trivial?  The answer: Anxiety.

 

         I remember playing that scene on repeat in my mind after it happened.  My oldest, Madi, had started to show some signs of anxiety.  The ants were first (although she loves all creatures and currently has a pet snake), then the occasional moment she just didn’t want to be alone. Later she became a bit obsessed with washing her hands and things not touching on her plate. Friends and family that know her now would absolutely describe her as someone who would always err on the side of caution.  We have been able to take a laid back approach on most things, going so far as to jokingly (and lovingly) call her our family "hall monitor" from time to time.  The other times, however, feel like we are on a non-stop struggle bus ride that won’t let the passengers off till it reaches its destination.  

 

      When Madi was younger she was involved in Awana at our church.  It's a program for children to learn bible verses and memorize scripture to use for a lifetime.  One evening, while packing her backpack for school I came across a tiny strip of paper that read in her handwriting, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7”.  I immediately started to beam with pride and probably teared up (as I tend to do).  When I asked her about it later she explained that she had learned that verse at Awana and felt like she needed to carry it with her at school to help her not worry. My heart sank.  WHY? WHY did she feel this way?  What was I missing? Over the following years I came to realize I wasn’t missing anything. It was there the whole time. Remember the ant army? I was helpless. There was nothing I could do to help other than be available when she needed me. I was so grateful for Awana and the verses she was applying to her life though. It helped remind me of how much the Bible can help us when we need it and I need that reminder often. 

 

   It only got worse with the teen years. Pressures of grades, social situations, and impending adulthood (as she calls it) has gifted us with many nights fighting it out in her room.  She, pulling her hair and freaking out about the problem and I, trying to calmly remind her of every good thing.  Don’t even get me started on learning to drive and picking a college or career!  Over time I believed she had forgotten about her anxiety verse until I happened to come across it in her desk drawer.  (of course I look through my kids things-like they don’t look through my things-we all did it!) That same strip of paper from her backpack was kept all this time in her room.  I was floored. It felt like God was telling me, “Hey, human… I got this remember?”  I even asked her today, before I started to write, if she remembered that anxiety verse she use to have.  She quoted it to me perfectly. Wow! That verse will be with her forever!

 

    Madi is hard-wired to worry, and some people simply are.  Just because she has memorized a verse doesn’t mean she will never worry again. She will…and often. The best thing she could have done was memorize that verse, and it had nothing to do with me. God helped her with that one all on His own.  How much more does he care about our kids than we do? Tons. I could never parent and care for my 4 kids as well as He could.  I believe that’s why He says in Deuteronomy 6:6-7, “These commandments that I give today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” He knows His words are our swords and we can take on anything this world throws at us…but only with His help.

 

   Do you know a Nervous Nelly? I know sooo many. I know how dibilitating it can be to have high anxiety and potentially suffer panick attacks.  It can get scary. However, I also know ANYTHING we face is nothing compared to Gods word.  He has given us the answer to everything.  We just have to be willing to look.  I’ve heard this description before: Jesus didn’t say, “Come to me all who are crushing it, living your best life, and I will give you rest.” He said, “Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest.”  If you are tired and weary, don’t worry.  That’s exactly how He expected you to come to Him.